Ok i have to keep track of stuff again.  Ok Tuesday night, i asked Mary not to feed the boys, which she didn't, but i only gave them lunchables, because about a hour before i left work, i did not feel good.  I feed them when i got home, well the next night, i felt fine and was going to feed them, we come home,  So i'm getting ready to cook, and Logan comes outside, and tells me  that he has something to tell me.   SHE FED THEM AFTER I ASKED THEM NOT TOO.  THAT WAS IT, I CALLED HER AND WENT OFF, OF COURSE SHE CLAIMED THAT THE KIDS NEVER TOLD HER ANYTHING.  THEY BOTH SWORE THEY TOLD HER IN THE MORNING........ WELL I WILL NOT BE TAKING TH EM OVER THERE ANYMORE FOR DAYCARE.  i WILL NOT HAVE THEM DELIBERATELY GO AGAINST MY REQUEST, ESPECIALLY SOMETHING SO SIMPLE. 
aUSTIN TELLS ME THAT SHE IS CONSTANTLY PUTTING ME DOWN, AND AUSTIN SAYS HE TRIES TO TELL HER TO BE QUIET BUT SHE NEVER DOES. 
tAMMY BAILEY HAS SAID THAT SHE WILL WATCH THEM NEXT WEEK, AND THEN I WILL HAVE TO FIGURE OUT THE FOLLOWING WEEK, SINCE THEY ONLY HAVE HALF DAYS, I GUESS I WILL JUST BRING THEM TO THE OFFICE.

i ALSO SENT A CERTIFIED LETTER REGUARDING EVENTS WITH BOTH BOYS WITH HIS TIME AND MINE.  i'M NOT LETTING THEM CONTROL ME ANYMORE, I'M DONE WITH THAT.

Well this new owner now is going to get out of it.  This is nuts.  If i didn'tlike my job so much, i would start looking somewhere else, which i guess i really should anyway.  This guy never calls, never checks to see anything. 

Nathan witnessed one of his best friends die sunday night.  He died in a drunk driving wreck.  He was drunk, , driving and now he is dead, the passenger Seriously injured.  Nathan was with someone else, and the car behind him, and watched the car flip over and land on it's top.......... the driver was trapped, and died from the impact from the steering whell and the windsheild.  It's a very bad situation...... Nathan was up for almost two days, and has continued to go to work, although i don't really understand why.\

I had just said to myself that morning, that Nathan wasn't going to call me again until something bad happened. (we had had a falling out a month or more ago.) And sure enough this happened and he called me the same day i had this thought.  He apologized and said he was sorry for being stubborn. I told him to don't worry about it.  I also had our
Pastor from Church call him, and talk to him.  He hasn't been to church since we had our falling out, and he is going to go Sunday with me this week, and he is taking me to a dinner theatre Saturday night. 

Further more, i have some good friends, and there grandbaby was rushed to the university hospital last night by air, she suffered a seizure  and she has a brain tumor, i know nothing else yet......... so if anyone is reading this. PLEASE KEEP ALL THESE FAMILIES IN YOUR PRAYERS.

I GUESS THAT'S ALL FOR NOW

Well i'm moving on... i have mixed emotions, but i know it's the right thing to do.  Devin came over last night and watched a movie.... i could tell he was really nervous. me with a shy guy, now that's different.  Everyone has great things to say about him,,,,, so that's great.........
we will see what tomorrow brings after church........
big fight with mah

Well it's our last Saturday before the business is in someone else's name. This is going to be strange, very strange.  I haven't even met this guy yet.. Mike is threatened by him.  But like you have no right.... We had a big blow out about Devin yesterday. Well gosh mah, you aren't ever going to be with me, and iknow that, so what's the big deal. I have waited long enough for something that really i knew that would never be.  You and i are doomed..... So it's time for me to move on, i'm sorry,  It's as though you want to have your cake and eat it too. You can't do that anymore.  I need to move on, you need to move on as well.  I feel good about this, i'm sorry if it hurts, it hurts me too, but sometimes we have to go through the hurt to get to the good stuff.  You know that as well as i do. You and i will always have a bond that will never be broken, and never forgotten.......... but it's time, yes, i believe to a certain extent you are on the shelf........ sorry......

 

reception, tonight, if i have the right night.  lmao  wanted to ask devin, but i'm still not sure what he thinks about all this chitchatting. at least he is stopping in on a regular basis, but he still hasn't asked me out.  I'm just not sure what to think of all     this.

Not much to say....... My lunch date went ok i think..... We will see what happens. Saw him again today by accident. I wondered if he would have popped in if i wouldn't have been outside......... who knows.  i told him to come see me on Friday or Saturday, so we will see what happens.

 

Going to dinner with girls from Church.  I need to walk but i feel tired.  I might just do it at home on the treadmill while i'm watching a show i guess. that should make it go by faster.  Mike always tells me to jog during the commercials, i could try that, might go fast , i should walk at least 3 miles..............

Ok, well i finally had a miracle.  Sold one little bitty phone.  Better than nothing , that's for sure......

I'm getting stronger, there's no doubt about that, and it's because of the Lord, there is no doubt about that either.... no doubt......... I used to bawl and bawl when mah was a jerk, even though i had done nothing wrong, now i'm like fine,,,,, be that way, i know i haven't done anything wrong...... so be however you want to be. I'm so ready to move on........

I'm going to bite the bullet Saturday and ask someone to lunch......... althogh i'm afraid of rejection.......... , but we will see......

Scrubbed the kitchen floor yesterday on my knees.  That was interesting, time went by,and i didn't really even notice that i was't talking on the phone.  ............... Mike is still being civil, it scares me, actually......... whta's coming up, that's whati want to know, be on my guard is what Kent says........

Well that's all for now, skipping out early today......... dead.......

 

 

Well, God is really testing me right now, there is no doubt about it......... Nathan and I had a falling out......... Mah and i are getting right, and i fell 7 feet to the floor today............ So I am in a lot of pain right now........... Sure glad that i worked out before i fell on my back............. so there is a plus. 

Nathan is so cruel,,,,,,,,,,, why is is that we always hurt the ones we love............. I have gone over and over this in my head, and i made sure i held me tongue when we was texting all these mean and vicous  stuff to me.......... although i wanted to lash out at him, and defend myself, but i figured to just try to let it alone,

He's obviously having some issues.  Deep issues............ I can't let him drag me down right now, at all.......... especially with this mah thing. He always says things that hurt to the core, and right now i feel like this time, i don't even want to forgive him,,,,,,,,,,, he's done this to me too many times,,,,,,,,,,,,, saying you aren't my  mom anymore.............. He always says "MY MOM IS MY BEST FRIEND" well lets see, even if i have a falling out with my friends i sure don't say you are dead to me................ that's just nuts..........

I want to just move sometimes , start all over, but i can't do that, because of the way things are set up with visitation............... STAY TUNED.................

 this is unreal......... 7 days no sales, not even accessories, what is going on........ Lets hope this new owner can turn us around, because this is pathetic, granted it doesn't seem real busy around the whole parking lot, but this is insane....................

I made myself go workout last night.  I didn't want to, but i did it, i'm so proud of myself....... then i went to go eat, and then went home and cleaned, and read till 11 ...... i was really tired considering i had no sleepthe night before....... i think i'm just going to lay around tonight....... It's way too hot to do anything else......

mah------hope you are having fun...... hope the rest of the weekend turns out like you want :)

Well what a week........... haven't kept up to well, as i have been stressed and depressed. I didnt' even fall asleep till eleven , which is very late for me.............

then woke up at four couldn't get back to sleep.  Anyway, i think the sell is official, almost.  Just a matter of the new person taking over the lease............ I have way mixed emotions over this. Mike won't be involved in it in anyway, which i thought that he would maybe be a silent partner or something, but i guess that's not the case.  Out of it, totally......... so it will be interesting to see what happens........

I was so upset last night, it was nuts.  I did not expect to feel like this at all.  I feel like i have lost a big part of my life, although he told me , its' not like that at all. Grieving, still grieving, will continue to grieve.  At least this guy has some money to spend, so that is a good thing i guess.

So now i'm pondering, not that it really matters, was this Gods plan, is it his continuing plan, and is it for the better.......... i know the answer to the last question.

So it's time for another major change in life i guess, am i ready for it?  Definately not? But I am coming to grips with that it can't go on like it is............ sin sin sin............ but i'm human, but that's not a excuse...........

I'm going to take it easy the next two days here at work, because i just am, it's been a bad week, and i'm just gong to read, and hang out...............

Thanks God for saving my job----------hopefully the guy won't back out of it...........

Well what a week........... haven't kept up to well, as i have been stressed and depressed. I didnt' even fall asleep till eleven , which is very late for me.............

then woke up at four couldn't get back to sleep.  Anyway, i think the sell is official, almost.  Just a matter of the new person taking over the lease............ I have way mixed emotions over this. Mike won't be involved in it in anyway, which i thought that he would maybe be a silent partner or something, but i guess that's not the case.  Out of it, totally......... so it will be interesting to see what happens........

I was so upset last night, it was nuts.  I did not expect to feel like this at all.  I feel like i have lost a big part of my life, although he told me , its' not like that at all. Grieving, still grieving, will continue to grieve.  At least this guy has some money to spend, so that is a good thing i guess.

So now i'm pondering, not that it really matters, was this Gods plan, is it his continuing plan, and is it for the better.......... i know the answer to the last question.

So it's time for another major change in life i guess, am i ready for it?  Definately not? But I am coming to grips with that it can't go on like it is............ sin sin sin............ but i'm human, but that's not a excuse...........

I'm going to take it easy the next two days here at work, because i just am, it's been a bad week, and i'm just gong to read, and hang out...............

Thanks God for saving my job----------hopefully the guy won't back out of it...........